The Accident Book …

The Accident Book


Watkins hard at work

Watkins, my social events and correspondence secretary, was deeply touched by your recent messages of support. The Manchester branch have seen sense and are more than happy to keep things just as they are. This decision was reached after a visit from 1951 Club, Inc. 


Watkins really is a fine upstanding fellow and I have grown quite fond of him over the years. He has been helping me with the 1951 Club since its inception. He also does some gardening and the odd spot of DIY.  Before coming to me he was working as Head Groundsman for Lord & Lady Northbunker on their estate in Dorset. In addition to providing him with an impeccable reference, they also sent me a somewhat alarming and weighty tome called the ACCIDENT BOOK, in which are listed a series of mishaps which occured to Watkins during his time spent in their employ. Quite frankly, I’m amazed he made it here at all. 


I have decided to publish extracts from the aforesaid book on a regular basis. Not because I want to. No, it’s because you deserve it. 

Extract # 1

Even as I write, Watkins is busy testing the trampoline I’ve had set up in the garden for my two adorable grandchildren Thomas and Edwina who are arriving later this afternoon. Oh dear. He has just managed to bounce himself right into the swimming pool. 

Such a shame we had it drained last Wednesday. Still, the emergency services are on their way.




13 responses to “The Accident Book …

  1. Great news about Watkins, I would have been furious if he was forced to mvoe on. I do hope Mrs Watkins has purchased a bowler and is entertaining him in the time-honoured fashion. The accident book will be very interesting, no doubt – he seems quite the adventurous fellow!

    • Hello PorterGirl. I haven’t found a quiet moment in which to ask Mrs Watkins about the bowler. Yes, the blood spattered pages of the Accident Book make for some interesting but uncomfortable reading.

  2. Funny. Love the voice.

  3. Accident book… that is cool. And I love the excerpt… haha.

  4. Great love the humour kris😂

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