The Accident Book … extract # 7
Those of you who joined me last week will no doubt remember the unfortunate incident concerning Watkins and the fireworks.
What follows is another extract from the ACCIDENT BOOK as recorded by Lord & Lady Northbunker on their estate in Dorset.
Extract # 7
Watkins appears to be in rather a dark place at the moment. Even as I write, he is outside having an attack of what can best be described as ‘garden-rage’. He has just this minute napalmed all the deckchairs, having first ridden roughshod over my prize-winning begonias astride the old Atco Lawnmaster.
Now, to my absolute horror and chagrin, he is relieving himself into the ornamental fishpond. Enough is enough! I pour myself a generous measure of Old Grouse and wander casually out into the garden armed with my trusty 12 bore shotgun.
On arrival I find that, in a fit of pique, he has managed to accidentally nail his hand to the bird-table.
Really, such extraordinary and uncharacteristic behaviour. I fear that Watkins has been listening to his old Rolling Stones records in the shed again. And nothing good ever comes of that. Still, the emergency services are on their way.
Take care folks!
Watkins has turned feral! But it is hardly any wonder, the unfortunate fellow must be driven half mad by his run of bad luck. More like a marathon of bad luck, actually.
The fellow has had an incredibly bad run of luck although, to be fair, none of them actually happened on the same day. Thanks for dropping by PG Lucy.
He has quite an exciting life, which is always quite a positive thing. Although at his time of life I dare say he would appreciate a little less excitement. Always a pleasure to stop by!
He certainly does. I think the man is probably an adrenaline junkie.
Poor Watkins… will he ever learn…?
He has plenty of time. Never too old. 🔧💯
It absolutely looks like that… haha.