The Accident Book … extract # 7

The Accident Book … extract # 7


Those of you who joined me last week will no doubt remember the unfortunate incident concerning Watkins and the fireworks.

What follows is another extract from the ACCIDENT BOOK as recorded by Lord & Lady Northbunker on their estate in Dorset.

Extract # 7

Watkins appears to be in rather a dark place at the moment. Even as I write, he is outside having an attack of what can best be described as ‘garden-rage’. He has just this minute napalmed all the deckchairs, having first ridden roughshod over my prize-winning begonias astride the old Atco Lawnmaster.


Now, to my absolute horror and chagrin, he is relieving himself into the ornamental fishpond. Enough is enough! I pour myself a generous measure of Old Grouse and wander casually out into the garden armed with my trusty 12 bore shotgun.


On arrival I find that, in a fit of pique, he has managed to accidentally nail his hand to the bird-table.


Really, such extraordinary and uncharacteristic behaviour. I fear that Watkins has been listening to his old Rolling Stones records in the shed again. And nothing good ever comes of that. Still, the emergency services are on their way. 



Take care folks!


12 responses to “The Accident Book … extract # 7

  1. Watkins has turned feral! But it is hardly any wonder, the unfortunate fellow must be driven half mad by his run of bad luck. More like a marathon of bad luck, actually.

  2. Poor Watkins… will he ever learn…?

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