The Accident Book … extract # 11
You may have noticed that I have not included any Accident Book entries relating to Watkins during the past few months. There are plenty but, quite frankly, relating them to you was getting a tad depressing. So I have been taking an accident-free holiday as it were.
But something amusingly ironic has recently occured and I am thus of a mind to relate it to you. As I have no doubt pointed out to you before, the Accident Book is quite a weighty tome. I often use it as a door-stop. Well, Watkins was busy perusing it in his shed the other day when he was was momentarily startled by an owl.
The result of said distraction was that the silly old fool went and dropped the Accident Book right on his foot. He is usually in the habit of wearing a pair of sturdy old army boots whilst performing his various duties. This I am given to understand includes amorous activities with Mrs Watkins every second Thursday of the month. I digress. Unfortunately, on this particular occasion, he wasn’t. He came hobbling up the garden path in his socks in great distress and informed me of said mishap.
I immediately saw the funny side of it and Watkins just as immediately didn’t. He was clearly in dire need of urgent medical assistance so I drove him straight to the hospital.
After close examination, the young doctor in the A&E department duly informed us that the human foot contains 26 bones. According to his x-Ray, Watkins had managed to break all 26, plus another 3 that were completely unknown to medical science. The good doctor also saw the funny side of things vis-a-vis the Accident Book although Watkins himself was still batting for the agony team until the morphine kicked in.
You will, no doubt, be delighted to hear that Watkins is now well on the road to recovery. The Accident Book has been safely returned to my custody.