The Accident Book … Extract # 10
Those of you who joined me last week will no doubt remember the unfortunate incident concerning Watkins and the Near Death Certificate.
What follows is another extract from the ACCIDENT BOOK as recorded by Lord & Lady Northbunker on their estate in Dorset.
Extract # 10
Apparently, Watkins is something of an animal lover.
Even as I write, he is out in the garden with Poppy & Willow, Mrs Blyth-Comely’s adorable pet rotweilers. She is away in London for a few days having breast enhancement surgery. So I have very kindly agreed to take them in hand for her until she returns.
Watkins appears to be having a splendid time playing with his new pals so I retire to the kitchen for a spot of lunch.
Just a few minutes later, I am joined in the kitchen by Poppy & Willow – minus Watkins. I feed them the remains of yesterday’s Sunday roast, tie them securely to the kitchen table and go off in search of Watkins. I find him having what appears to be a crafty nap in one of the flower-beds. I have a mind to chastise him most firmly for falling asleep on the job. On closer inspection it would seem that his canine chums have been just a wee bit too playful and have worn him to a complete frazzle.
I administer him with several medicinal nips of brandy from my hip-flask. I am suddenly filled with great alarm as the two hairy miscreants return to the scene of the crime dragging the kitchen table behind them. I prop dear old Watkins against an apple tree and beat a hasty retreat to the relative safety of the cocktail cabinet. Still, the emergency services are on their way.