The Accident Book … Extract # 6
Those of you who joined me last week will no doubt remember the unfortunate incident concerning Watkins and the concrete.
What follows is another extract from the ACCIDENT BOOK as recorded by Lord & Lady Northbunker on their estate in Dorset.
Extract # 6
Even as I write, Watkins is busy out in the garden testing equipment for tomorrow night’s celebratory fireworks. He informs me that he has a City & Guilds in this sort of thing and that he is a regular subscriber to a trade monthly called Pyrotechnic World. Otherwise I would have assuredly called in the experts. Unfortunately, he appears to have neglected at least one of the prime safety directives when handling fireworks. He has just dropped his pipe into a box of rockets. Oh dear! Things appear to be going off. I have never seen a chap so well into his eighties move quite as fast. This probably has something to do with the blazing projectile currently homing in on his aged posterior. Finally, after several screaming circuits of the lawn, man and missile are united in a blinding but nevertheless very colourful flash.
The pandemonium that ensues reminds me of those splendid terms – anally retentive and upwardly mobile. Such bravado! Such crescendo! Such a mess. Still, the emergency services are on their way.
Take care folks!
1951 Club 
Hahaa nice one Kris.
Hahaha… great read again, Kris!!!
Simply wonderful, as ever. I do hope the aged posterior recovered sufficiently.
He keeps a big tub of ointment in his shed.
Very sensible, given his ‘clumsy’ nature.
😯😂🔧🐈