ROALD DAHL 100
Today marks the centenary of author Roald Dahl’s birth.
September 13th 1916 – September 13th 2016
Visit Routine Matters for more information
ROALD DAHL 100
Today marks the centenary of author Roald Dahl’s birth.
September 13th 1916 – September 13th 2016
Visit Routine Matters for more information
Posted in Chat from the author, General Annoucements
Tagged 100, master storyteller, Roald Dahl, Routine Matters
1951 Club Revisited … and Gort wrote back
Back in 2011, GORT the robot from the classic 1951 sci-fi cult film The Day the Earth Stood Still, joined the 1951 Club.
Posted in Chat from the author, General Annoucements
Tagged 1951, Gort, sci-fi, the day the earth stood still
The Accident Book
Watkins hard at work
Watkins, my social events and correspondence secretary, was deeply touched by your recent messages of support. The Manchester branch have seen sense and are more than happy to keep things just as they are. This decision was reached after a visit from 1951 Club, Inc.
Watkins really is a fine upstanding fellow and I have grown quite fond of him over the years. He has been helping me with the 1951 Club since its inception. He also does some gardening and the odd spot of DIY. Before coming to me he was working as Head Groundsman for Lord & Lady Northbunker on their estate in Dorset. In addition to providing him with an impeccable reference, they also sent me a somewhat alarming and weighty tome called the ACCIDENT BOOK, in which are listed a series of mishaps which occured to Watkins during his time spent in their employ. Quite frankly, I’m amazed he made it here at all.
I have decided to publish extracts from the aforesaid book on a regular basis. Not because I want to. No, it’s because you deserve it.
Extract # 1
Even as I write, Watkins is busy testing the trampoline I’ve had set up in the garden for my two adorable grandchildren Thomas and Edwina who are arriving later this afternoon. Oh dear. He has just managed to bounce himself right into the swimming pool.
Such a shame we had it drained last Wednesday. Still, the emergency services are on their way.
A Midweek Crisis … in which I am deeply disturbed.
DeeplyDisturbed
It has recently been drawn to my attention that there have been shenanigans going on within the massed ranks of The 1951 Club. Yes, shenanigans. I know. I can sense an almost audible gasp of shock amongst you. Perhaps you should sit down and have a brandy. Maybe two. A photograph has recently come into my possession. Let us call it … Exhibit One.
As you can plainly see, it features those fine actors Helen Worth, Nigel Havers and Simon Rouse. It looks innocent enough, until I reveal to you mes amis that they were … ALL BORN IN 1951 and are therefore, by default, members of The 1951 Club.
They are seen here apparently in rehearsals for an episode of Coronation Street. But appearances can be deceptive. For it was really a covert emergency meeting of the 1951 Club’s Manchester branch which I didn’t even know existed. How am I aware of this you may well ask. I shall tell you. I just happen to be quite well acquainted with one of the young ladies who works in Corrie’s make-up department. Her name is …. well let’s just call her Donald.
Watkins
She was able to get close enough to hear some of their conversation and this is the gist of the discussion …
Firstly, they want to replace Watkins, my ancient and loyal social events secretary, with a younger model. He is a very spritely 87 years old. Now, I am all in favour of younger models …
But I really have to draw the line when it comes to ever replacing Watkins. Over my dead body. Or his, if push comes to shove.
Secondly, they want to move our regular social gatherings from the first Tuesday to the second Wednesday of each month. This would clash with my Bridge night. No way José. I mean, they’ve yet to turn up anyway.
And then finally, to cap it all, they want a bloody new clubhouse. What’s wrong with the one we’ve got, I might ask.
A lick of paint here and there. A door. A tub of flowers and it will look perfect. New clubhouse. I don’t think so.
Watkins is understandably very upset by this sorry turn of events. In fact, I have had to lock him in the cellar for a few days until he calms down. Mrs Watkins is feeding him pate de foie gras and cider via a straw through the keyhole. I expect all will be well soon. Meanwhile, if you would like to send poor old Watkins a message of support, then by all means do so via the comments section. I daresay he’d appreciate a few kind words.
Posted in Chat from the author, General Annoucements
Tagged Helen Worth, Midweek Crisis, Nigel Havers, shenanigans
SUNGLOW
When I was all of 20 years old I wrote a wee poem called sunglow just about some daft thoughts I had in my mind at the time. It was 1972. The war in Vietnam was still dragging on. Northern Ireland had witnessed the terrible events of Bloody Sunday. And in September a group of terrorists massacred members of the Israeli team at the Summer Olympic games in Munich.
sunglow
sun glow on high
colours earth sky
the world is turning
and we’re turning too
same sun for you
same sun for me
but we still burn inside
when there’s no need
so we must learn to love
bring out the peaceful dove
or fade away
just fade away
And now, over 40 years later there is a war in Syria. There are floods of refugees looking for a better life. We are witnessing the atrocities in Tunisia, France and Kuwait. And this morning my poem just popped back into my head from wherever it had been sleeping. So I’m just sharing it with you fine fair folk.
I, FOLLOWER
(The Noble Art of Following – Part 1)
“Writing is a craft, being an author is work, and having readers and a following is a gift.”
― Michael J. Kannengieser, The Daddy Rock
I have been thinking a great deal recently about myself in the role of I, FOLLOWER.
And this is NOT what I’m on about!
A little bit more like this perhaps.
Before I discuss this role and venture out into shark-infested waters, I would just like to clear a few things up. I don’t have many followers. The ones I’m lucky to have are genuinely meaningful to me. So, and I know I don’t say this often enough …
Yes, that’s YOU I’m talking about … and YOU as well of course … and not forgetting YOU … and especially YOU!!
All of you. Well almost all of you. I need to tell you about Rip.
My occasional gardener and odd-job man Watkins (born 1927) has always been a man of some industry and enterprise.
He has recently started his own online dating website for the over 6os … the very aptly named carbon-dating.com
Ever vigilant as to the perils and pitfalls of online dating Watkins has compiled the following brief pictorial guide to help you with that vital step towards finding cyber-romance … the all important first date.
Please note this item first appeared on this blog in 2012.
Posted in Chat from the author, General Annoucements, Uncategorized
Maggie … the kick-ass angel has a heart of stone.
This relentless cyber-warrior delivers the ultimate sucker-punch to her online adversaries.
Don’t mess with her!
Blogenstein … warm, witty, charming, sophisticated and single. The jolly green giant of the Blogtastics. He is currently studying for a degree in Applied Mathematics at King’s College, Cambridge.
Posted in Chat from the author, General Annoucements, Uncategorized
Writer Roald Dahl met actress Patricia Neal at a dinner party hosted by American playwright Lillian Hellman in 1951.
Roald Dahl had become quite a favourite amongst the New York elite and he loved to shock and scorn unsuspecting newcomers with his wit and sarcasm.
When he found himself seated next to the beautiful rising star Patricia Neal, his tactic was to ignore her all evening. It worked … they married in 1953.
1951 saw the release of the fantastic film The Day the Earth Stood Still in which Patricia Neal had a leading role. The picture below shows a still from the film featuring Miss Neal with one of her leading men … GORT the robot. GORT is of course a member of the 1951 Club already.
Posted in Chat from the author, General Annoucements, Uncategorized
Tagged 1951, film, Gort, movie, Patricia Neal, Roald Dahl, the day the earth stood still
Today is my 60th birthday … 20/11/2011 … which is a pretty neat date on which to have a 60th birthday.
I have decided to mark this auspicious occasion with a PLOG … that is to say, a blog which is mainly pictures. In this instance I am illustrating my plog with traffic signs … always there but often totally ignored.
The subject of my plog is … my life in traffic signs …
Posted in Chat from the author, General Annoucements, Uncategorized
Tagged 1951, 60, birthday, drive, give way, life, road, traffic signs
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